Today we have turned 37 weeks pregnant! Which means she can come really any time from here on… I find this scary/ unnerving/ exciting/ happy/ frightening all at the same time. Is that normal? I think it is.
Part of me is completely fed up and ready for her to be here. My stomach and thighs are covered in bright red stretch marks, like I mean seriously I look like I could play for Sheffield united, with the amount of red and white stripes I sport on a daily basis. So my confidence is well and truly knocked with that. On top of this, I am itching. In fact, itching is an understatement. If there was a word I could use to intensify the word itching I’d use that! This has been going on for about a week and half now. I have good days and bad days with it. But it is every night! Waking up itching- especially on the souls of my feet. I’ve been to see my GP, and they have sent off for bloods because they think it could be cholestasis, which is something to do with the liver. Trying not to focus too much on that though as I don’t want to get worked up about it. The final reason why I feel like if she turns up tomorrow I’ll be over the moon is the braxton hicks. These seam to have gotten a lot worse the last week. There have been a couple of occasions that has caused me to 2nd guess myself as to whether they are the real deal or not. Thankfully on all occasions they have just been braxton hicks.
On the other hand to all that, part of me is hoping she comes late. This may be the only chance I get to be pregnant, and I love the feeling when I feel a kick, or feel her move around. The thought of knowing that I’ve got our little girl in my tummy. I’m the only one that is getting her 24/7. That she can hear my heartbeat to soothe her, my voice constantly. The feeling of all this completely squashes all them other bad symptoms I have. So what if I’ve been woken up itching at 2am? I’m writing a blog post with our lil girly awake kicking me too. I’m not sure I’m ready for this amazing feeling to end? (Plus the eat what I want excuse cos “im pregnant” haha.)
So to summerise I am having mix feelings at the minute about my pregnancy journey coming to an end, and that’s ok. I think it is completely normal, especially when I’ve got this many hormones whizzing around my body. I think it is completely “normal” to not know whether I’m happy or sad or excited or nervous. Me and Alex are stepping into the unknown and at the end of the day.. we’ve got each other and we’re about to become a family, so we have a hell of a lot to be greatful for!
Check in with you all soon,